What vile and contemptuous things I see
How did I not know it was and is of me?
Abundantly flowing it makes me ill
I am the spring of free flowing ill will

Divided I am or so I am told
Multiplied in me the events of old
Divided so much I did not know?
The basic math of me now unfolds -----------the disgust of my life as a whole

Unveiling its dark and unappealing face
dissociations' place of auto erase
Now I understand the secrets of me
What vile and contemptuous things I see

The price of surviving, is it worth the cost?
Floundering drowning – im completely lost
things have never been what they seemed to be
What vile and contemptuous thing I see

Not given to rash or irreversible behavior
This sole trait is my one true savior
Trying not to sit and think too long
On all I know that i have done wrong

Trying not to worry is this the full extent?
Filtering carefully how I vent.
Careful not to expose in entirety
What vile and contemptuous things I see

attempting to hold on to some positive thought
My grip is loosened by all the lies that I bought
Lies I told myself so that I wouldn’t believe
The vile and contemptuous things I now see