i broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because i cant shake my need to be alone. he is devastated. he is wonderful and i know he would give me any time alone i need but its not enough, and the pressure of any commitment at all feels wrong, like its a promise i know i can't keep.
i still have strong feelings and i care about him a lot but i feel like i am doing the right thing by ending it before i hurt him worse, like acting out and cheating because often when i am manic and reckless i drink too much and have one night stands...and basically i feel that sexual energy is tied to mania and i dont have that with him.
i guess im wondering if anyone else has a similar experience or agrees/disagrees with some of the ideas about being manic/depressive and not being able to maintain close relationships, or at least the stress of being in one.