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Originally Posted by danii24
the stress your under with been a care giver is going to put u down. unfortunately with some1 like use (clinical depression) this kind of stress will trigger another bout of depression. im really sorry to hear that your mother is so sick and that your fathers in prison.
I dont tink that your husband is being stand offish with you but hes under pressure to from his family. i no u say he cnt pull himself out of his mood but ive to expect people to put up with us when we cant pull ourselfs out of it, maybe he needs a little bit extra time. i no its frustrating but dnt let others ruin things between u's 2.
i no u said you tried to tlk to him but he wnt tlk bout it. is your husband suffering from depression 2 that might be why hes closing himself off.
I no in my family if my dad was challanged about how he felt he would give my mam the silent treatment because he was brought up as a tipical irish man that didnt tlk bout his feelings. some men find it hard to chat bout that kind of stuff. some see it as a weekness. sorry this prob isnt very helpful
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Thank you for your condolences. Your reply is a relief to me. It's good to hear that he's not being stand offish and at least I know how to respond fairly and appropriately now. I'm not very good with relationships, so this sort of insight into normal behavior is helpful to me. I will definitely try to give him as much space as he needs and let up a bit with my own neediness.
He hasn't been officially diagnosed, but as someone with depression, I know what it looks like and I do think he is depressed; most likely situationally-so, not clinical or long-term. He is tight-lipped about his emotions (although over the years he has gotten better about opening up), but I think his initial and natural reaction is to close up and withdrawal.
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Originally Posted by shezbut
(((vintageromance)))
I'm sorry that you're both going through such hard times right now. It is great that you are taking some medication, to help you work through the problems. Still, that's only part of the solution. One on one counseling is a big part of the solution.
Even if your husband wasn't stressed to the gourd, talking with him probably wouldn't give you what you need. You need a therapist. Maybe picking up the phone, and calling one of those phone centers on your really stressful times is an option to get you through.
Different people do have different ways of working through their emotions. Have you tried various exercises to help battle the anxiety that you're struggling with? Exercise is my personal favorite to let that extra energy out in a healthy way. Like: 6 mile power walks on nature trails ~ the nature trail re-boots a better sense of identity for me. Six miles because it gives me a sense of accomplishment, and it takes some time to work through my emotions & then finally begin to enjoy the nature surrounding me.
Hope that helps you. Gentle hugs sent out to you.
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I have been seeing a therapist since May 2010, but she has proved to be very unreliable, so I'm searching for a new one. As of now, no such luck. I can't afford a therapist it seems and even the therapists who are there for low-income individuals still charge too much for me.
I agree with the exercise. I do work out for an hour 5x a week. It's a struggle to do it sometimes because of the depression, but I think it does help manage my anxiety and depression. My husband has even become interested in exercise and plans to start jogging in August. Maybe it'll help relieve some of his stress as well.