Yeah. I can't stay in this situation forever. The problem is, just thinking about getting a job makes me feel uncomfortable. If I apply for a job, I have to go through the interview process, and if I somehow survive that, I have to actually do the job correctly. I'm not very good at interacting with other people (obviously). If I can find a job that would allow me to be alone, or with very few people over the course of an entire day, maybe I could make it. But that still brings me back to the whole interview problem. I actually had a job interview set up once. I just sat around all day worrying about it; worrying about making a fool out of myself. I decided to call up and cancel it. Even that took everything I had. It's hard for me to talk to people on the phone, especially when I don't know them.

Motivation is another problem. When I think of the limited number of job opportunities out there, it just makes me feel worse. Who really wants to work at a fast food restaurant, or be a cashier, stocker, janitor, etc.? Sure, you could work your way up, but who really wants to be working at those places to begin with? Not me. Even if I wanted to be, for example, a stocker at a grocery store, I'm not sure I would even be capable of getting my foot in the door.

I've been thinking about volunteering somewhere. If only I could get myself out there. I need to at least work on getting a state ID. That would be easier than going for a driver's license.

As for school, I never could figure out what I wanted to do. Nothing interests me enough. I enjoy reading and I enjoy listening to music, but I can't get myself to write and I have no desire to be a musician.

So yeah, now what?

I wish I had someone to help me out. My parents are understanding enough, but they're the kind of people who would rather ignore problems and hope that they go away on their own. Nothing has changed in the last 6 years. I need to fix this by myself.