Dear T,
I think you are missing the underlying problems that are manifesting with my adviser. I think the paper problems are just a symptom of deeper issues. I think your view is that it is just me not being willing to do something about the situation, when really I think that it is just a symptom of a reaction to the abuse. I know we can't address this right now, as you would see it as an avoidance tactic from the other stuff we are dealing with, but I just wanted to let you know there is something on the back burner when we get done with the current stuff. I was talking to my friend and had an a-ha moment. So I will keep this in the back of my mind waiting until we can talk about it.

I'm sorry I am making your job so hard. I do want you to be honest with me about what is going on. But at the same time I feel like it is all my fault. Like I'm annoying you with my problems. That I'm having trouble talking about stuff. I don't feel like you totally understand what is going on for me. And I don't know how to make you understand. I feel like there is this big disconnect between us right now. Please don't be mad at me. I feel like since I'm not dissociating in session I am getting overwhelmed by my feelings and then not able to talk. I know this annoys you. I'm sorry. You should just find someone else who is better to help. Someone who can do this better. I'm sorry I'm such a failure.


Googley