((((Pittlover))))

Wow thats a rough place to be. I'm sorry you are going through this. All I can do is share a similar experience. Last year I broke up with my boyfriend when I was fresh out of the hospital. I just felt so much like I needed to be alone. Just me and my illness. No pressure, no worrying about being a burden or hurting him, he is a wonderful guy and I was totally in love with him, but I felt like the Bipolar was a pre curser to being alone by choice.

Looking back I felt my meds played a slight role, making me feel flat. I have never cheated so I cannot speak to that, but the rest of your post I can. In my case after a few months we worked it out. I am know I am personally lucky for that. But while it was happening I thought it was what I truly wanted. It was all very confusing.

I hope you can get your feelings all sorted out, and can figure out what you truly want. I think Bipolar and relationships is tricky for anyone, but I don;t think it can;t be done if that is what you want.