I am not a licensed professional psychologist but I have had significant dealings with people who are desperate and genuinely need help. You appear to be a very articulate and well versed individual (perhaps moreso than most who consider themselves "in the know") and my heart breaks for you. In my opinion, you are half the way there. You accept your individual issues and truly desire to live a balanced life. Fight hard to find someone who you want by your side to get you through your daily battles. Insurance or not...behavioral health professionals need you more than you need them. They have bills to pay too.

You are your best advocate because no doctor or therapist can know everything in a short amount of time. Stand strong and spend a great deal of time researching professional backgrounds and pay close attention to patient reviews and testimonials. I hope all works out for you.

You will be okay because you are an honest person who simply desires real solutions for real issues that are causing you pain. Based on your post, you are not even close to losing your mind, you are just smarter than the average bear. Qualified support that matches your needs will get you to the other side of the rainbow. Good luck to you