I have my app with my t tomorrow and will contact my pdoc with her. I dunno why but I'm really nervous. I had a massive hysterical fit in public today, non the less. Just totally out of my mind with the depression. The last while I just feel like I'm almost not even me, you know.

I'll have a total meltdown, not be making any sense and then once someone calms me down after a good while, all the little pieces come back to me, it's like unscrambling a puzzle and then the plane lands and Reality hits an the pieces looks nothing like they did before the hysteria. It's a really scary feeling, realizing that you have just lost reality. I don't know if this even makes any sense. But I feel really nervous to talk to my t tomorrow and scared. I feel I've just lost it. How do I even explain this? Anyone know what I'm talking about??