Hi insideout,

The thing is ... nowhere else is there any viable dissection of things I have discovered in and about myself and my situation except buried in this one conspiracy theory. And that would be fine -- I'd be fine if it was one of those unprovable things like you know, UFOs or something -- but it's not. The conspiracy gets into all this stuff that you just know cannot be true. It supposedly involves all these very well known, public people and there's no way this stuff could be on the up and up. But it makes me angry because the people writing (and believing) this stuff KNOW certain things about ME and MY situation that NO ONE ELSE KNOWS. I guess I'd just like to have those "nuggets" of valid knowledge available in some other form instead of buried beneath mounds of absolute horse manure where no one will either look or take it seriously. I guess I'm just looking for answers, and these conspiracy ducks seem to have the answers, only they want me to buy a whole other ball of wax along with it, that I just cannot buy. Plus at a certain level I guess I don't trust myself. I have a very vulnerable mind and very loose boundaries between reality and non-reality (duh) and I'm scared I'll get so desperate to get to the bottom of this that I WILL throw all good sense to the wind and buy into a bunch of hooey because the answers are buried like little chunks of gold in the center of all the horsey poo.

*SIGH* I've been obsessing over this since I stumbled on it, Last Friday, and I'm no closer to getting anywhere. I've been googling every term I can think of looking for those who HELP people like me and found NOTHING. I've read conspiracy documents till my eyeballz wanna bleed. It's becoming an obsession. I feel like I can't rest until I can find the "RIGHT" person to discuss this with. Meanwhile everything is triggering the living $^%&$ out of me left and right and I'd be surprised if by the end of the week I haven't gone stark raving mad and alienatd everyone in sight.