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insideout said:
as i begin to expose these truths about the big government conspiracy and any related conspiracy theories.... i encounter interference, technological and "metaphysical" in nature. the harder you think about these things the clearer they become to thyself, however when you commence to explain these facts and observations, <font color="red">these same agencies responsible for oppressing, monitoring and controlling us, begin to divert us from our intended mission</font>, whether by carefully orchestrated computer crashes, or by <font color="red">mind and behavior influence,</font> which causes one to lose track of his thoughts, be at a loss for words, itch, cough, or otherwise prevent the message from being communicated.

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it's more than government or human agencies, i'm convinced there is a dimension beyond that and those of us who "see through things" are targeted because of our ability. by gaslighting us and putting us in staged reality-construct bubbles where we are isolated from the common man and his experience, it is almost guaranteed that no one will believe us or take us seriously about anything that matters; thus we are effectively rendered powerless as far as the ability to "do something, anything, about 'it'" is concerned.

i would like to learn how to overcome their ability to "trigger" my programming so that i can be effective in exposing them. when i'm triggered it's a lot of different ways but generally speaking it falls into a few predictable categories: (1) pre-programmed suicide-impulse reactions; (2) pre-programmed "self-sabotaging" reactions (emotions way out of keel, self way out of control); (3) pre-programmed escalating paranoia (exacerbated by gaslighting, etc.). for a long time i thought if others just observe my patterns and recognize that i'm helpless to stop these things they might understand what's going on -- but they don't. they actually believe that the faculty of volition "can" and is "supposed to" override all this, like I could just wave an invisible "magic wand" of "choice" and it would all disappear. I am the one who disappears instead so there is no "me" left here to DO anything about it once the command sequence has been initiated. and when I try to talk about it I just end up sounding deluded, so i don't try to talk about it, but it is driving me crazy. hopefully YOU ALL understand??? maybe just SOME of you at least???

<font color="purple">[[[here's what I get usually: "Oh yes we understand, Malady; we understand perfectly. Are you still taking your medication, by the way?"]]]</font>