My Support Forums - View Single Post - self-isolating, breaking up

Forgive77 · Jul 25, 2011, 07:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pittlover36

i broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because i cant shake my need to be alone. he is devastated. he is wonderful and i know he would give me any time alone i need but its not enough, and the pressure of any commitment at all feels wrong, like its a promise i know i can't keep.
i still have strong feelings and i care about him a lot but i feel like i am doing the right thing by ending it before i hurt him worse, like acting out and cheating because often when i am manic and reckless i drink too much and have one night stands...and basically i feel that sexual energy is tied to mania and i dont have that with him.
i guess im wondering if anyone else has a similar experience or agrees/disagrees with some of the ideas about being manic/depressive and not being able to maintain close relationships, or at least the stress of being in one.

I felt the same way when I first started dating my husband. I didn't know I was bipolar, but it made me anxious to be around him. I pushed him away so much. I ended up realizing he was perfect for me...logically, and built on that. Part of me was nervous he was too good for me, and he didn't diserve to be with me. There are days still I don't know why he is. But the sex does wax and wane with any relationship, and one can end up blaming their partner for what is actually a loss of excitment in the relationship. That is a bipolar thing. I'd think a little more on this before you break up with him. Write a pro and con list on a piece of paper and a list of what you want in a relationship and a man...and see if he fits the bill.