I haven't posted in awhile but I need support right now.
I so lost, confused, unsure about my life, my church, people in my life and just everything seems like such a big task. I'm tired of feeling empty, used and like I'm not worth or not important to people who I thought are good people.
To top it all off, I have to devote so much time to my son and his developmental delays. He is 2 1/2 and requires extra time, attention, and learning opportunitys.
I love my son more than anything, yet I think maybe if I was like other people I would fit in better. maybe they would like me better. I feel I have to choose between being the best mom, teacher, care giver, friend, security person, cook, worker, and everything else that moms do or be different to keep friends/other people in my life.
My mind is running and running with no end in sight. I even started drinking again last night just to calm my nerves down and today I've drank already and the day has just begun.
|