Thanks for the replies. No, I don't have a pdoc, can't afford one. Meds don't work for me. They have diagnosed me finally as "untreatable" because none of the meds work very long, some make me psychotic, and some make me suicidal. The docs say it's not worth the risk to put me back on meds. Wellbutrin worked for awhile, but now they won't give it to me because they say it's dangerous. It pretty much zoned me out anyway...I didn't even care about things I should care about. A lot of the meds give me a seriously flat affect, where I can't even be happy or sad.

I managed to do some work yesterday, but not as much as I needed to. I'm trying again today, and will just work until I drop. I was still working at 9:30 last night, but my brain finally just wouldn't function anymore, so I quit.

I'm finding that coconut oil gives me some energy and clears my brain some, so I'm using that. Hopefully, just getting into the habit of working even a little every day will help me make it a routine thing. I'm going to start tomorrow setting the alarm and acting like I'm going to a real job. Maybe I just need to train my brain to go to work, right?