Okay, (((malady))) I thought you were younger...no problem. I've read your other thread on government, but will give one thought here for both, ok?

I don't know if it will help, but try using the coping strategies we use with PTSD for when we are triggered. It could be the same, as anything you may have experienced is traumatic, and the brain has responded in much the same way (regardless of what made it do that, you know?)

There are grounding techniques "sticky posted" at the top of that forum that I think will help you, when you are triggered. You are already into this as you do realize you are being triggered. There are methods to work on this, and on gaining and then maintaining control once triggered. It's a process, not instant and automatic, ok?

When I was first injured and being triggered from my trauma, I didn't even know I was flashbacking... others would ask "What was all that about?" and I didn't know what they were talking about. It took years to even figure out when I had been triggered and had reacted. I'm to the point now that I can "know" I'm being triggered, and go into some grounding technique and coping... and can get through most of them more easily. (Storms are still bad for me.)

Try and approach this through the PTSD aspect, is what I'm suggesting. IDK about the bipolar cycling involvement and how that could affect this, too, but I'm sure someone else can give you input on that.

PM me if you wish. You do know I'm Christian, but hopefully you realize that I'm not part of your problem and maybe part of your solution? It's up to you.