My dad confronted me about my behaviour and asked if I was going through somehitng and I didnt even think I was behaving differently. But I am dealing with copious amounts of stress and the fact that my dad wants me to get a job puts more stress on me......

Im tired of cutting and im tired of being depressed..... i just need to talk to Tracy but shes out until the 8th so im ****ed....... Why did I **** up my last 2 appt...... I really need a professional to talk to right now..... not a friend, not family.... a proffesional that coukld admit me to the hospital....... because im too scared to go ask for help....i need someone to do it for me......

i heard my dad talking to my sister about me and how he doesnt know what to do with me or what he would do if i did anyhting.... i really think i need to be admitted.....

im always shaking, im cutting all the time, and im completely hopeless and i dont know why? like i dont have a real reason to feel like this
im actually scaring myself
i dont know waht to do

how do i start to help myself? i dont like where im headed