Trying to take it easy tonight. I saw my T this morning, we called my Pdoc but he was on vacation. My T told me she would call the on-call Pdoc at the hospital and the hospital would call for an outpatient app. The hospital called, said come at 3:30, then at 3 the hospital calls and say the doc won't likely come down and see me, and that the ER doctors won't touch my meds. So to go to my GP instead. I told them my GP was a bad choice, he isn't good with psych meds. Well after looking at my file more they say, you're right you're very med sensitive and he won't be able to do it. Sooo the tell me if I come into the hospital like I am now that they will keep me. I can't because I have no one to watch me kids at all, till next week. I would go in , and I know I likely should be in hospital, as much as I hate to admit it.

Sorry for the rant, I am frustrated with trying to get help in my city, this system sucks and I feel failed. So I sit at home till Aug 2nd waiting. Hopefully things don't continue to spiral. Today I feel depressed, agitated, irritable, with racing thoughts and had a minor hallucination. Looking a little mixed, I don't even know anymore.

Thanks for all your kind words both of you, I really needed to hear that.

I appreciated the stay at home mom analogy, I am a stay at home mom too.