Some could consider that I live extravagantly. I don't know. Hard to be around? Probably more like frustrating.

I rang up a lot of debt just before my divorce - thought I could buy happiness by meeting up with friends from message boards. Spent lots of money on air fare and hotels and activities. After the divorce, my income got stretched more and more, and the credit cards came in handy for the occasional "emergency."

Now most of my income goes to bills, and the necessity money is stretched even more. Two growing teenagers really suck it up. I get deeper in debt every year because of not being able to pay quarterly taxes.

But I just managed to sock away $500 the past two months because I wanted to take the kids on their winter mini-vacation. (A combination of some Christmas money from my mom, a small refund on a legal deposit, and a bunch of extra work).

Now, some would say I should use that $500 to pay down some debt (and I'd be right there with you, agreeing). But chances are the minute I put that $500 toward a credit card bill, something would come up to run the limit back up. Right now, I get more satisfaction from the memories that come along with the scrimped and saved for items than sending a big electronic payment to a bank. If I paid down a bill, I know exactly what I'd be thinking. "Oh, I have $500 more available credit, we'll just put our winter getaway on the plastic."


Unless people stop getting sick, or I loose all my fingers and both feet in a freak accident, and my company decides non-English-speaking transcriptionists really ARE the best option, I have a secure job and there's more money to be made. My therapist would tell me that's a lot of "coulds" to spend my energy worrying about.

So, for the moment, I pay the minimum towards the bills, find the best deals on necessary purchases as possible, and let everything else sort itself out. If you didn't know any better, you'd think I paid $300 for the Ralph Lauren jeans and Coach bag, when I really paid $15 total at Goodwill. One man's trash is another man's treasure?

Frustrating. I would say I'm frustrating.