you are here on this earth for a reasson, not to suffer but to have human experiences, i know it hurts, but you must try, have you sought out a therapist, or talked to your physician, there are people who see you as a worthy beautiful person, we cant see ourselves of course but others see you. hang in there make contact with a university hospital mental health center, i dont know where you live but the universities are very helpful, espicailly the hospitals connected with them. dont give up, never give up, you belong here, have a right to exist, but you must try becasue that is all we can really do, or go to the nearest hospital emergency room, they usually have social workers there who can help guide you to the help you need, this online haven is here and alot of people are in the same boat, try, please try.