Hello again,

Sorry, I've gotten so busy, it's been a while since I could post anything. Thank you all for reaching out and offering your support. It's sometimes encouraging just to know I am not alone, and my heart goes out to each one of you as well. Your kind words mean a lot to me. To address that last reply about getting dual therapy for my husband and I, it is something I know I would like to pursue. Right now, we're navigating trust issues, as I am not sure how committed he is to getting better, has had panic disorder for 13 years and is pretty set in his ways. Since the Paxil he takes controls it to some extent, I think he is content to live within the box he has been in all these years. For example, he doesn't travel, even to places 3 hours away due to intense panic attacks. This week is my birthday and we were planning to go to my parents house, about three hours away, but he has relapsed into anxiety and I don't think we will be going anywhere. This actually caused ME to have another episode, as I feel my family is a strong support to both of us and going places helps me to feel normal. I have just been feeling trapped, but last night he finally acknowledged how important his recovery is to me, not just for mine or his sake but for both of our families. For now, I just need to trust that he is committed, as he has started treatment. I just worry that he'll give up, as he has in the past. And he worries that my episodes will prevent me from being a support to him. It's a complex maze right now that feels endless, but I do hope it will end some day, b/c we are so young and I am not ready to give up. I think we will attend couples therapy, and I hope he finds a support group like this one. Anyway, I have babbled on and on for a while now, but I do thank you for all of your support and am glad to have found this site! Take care all of you, and I will be in touch soon