Sounds like from other posts you have out there that this has been going on for quite some time. The Sui thoughts seem to me to be the biggest concern. Is that under control? I know it's hard when you are coming down and start getting the mixed feelings. And bootstraps rarely work. They are just handles to hold on to. I am sorry that I do not have lots of advice for you ... but I can sympathize with you and hope for the best. Good luck and I hope whatever you decide works for the best.