Well I saw the pdoc and she agrees with T that I am bipolar, hasn't pinned on I or II but most likely II. I'm pretty sure I've never been full on manic, I think I'd remember. She is having me taper off the Topomax (thankfully) and starting me on Lamictal, which will hopefully help with the depression and suicidal feelings. I'm a little nervous about the rash thing but hopefully I won't have that problem it's going to take 8 days before I can start it and then 25mg for 2 weeks, 50 for 2 weeks and then 100 so I guess it will take awhile though before I might feel better. I think she is a good pdoc, she really took her time, took a history, and talked to me about my options. I hope this is going to help me, I'm so sick of feeling bad, seriously, I had to talk my T out of putting me inpatient until the new meds start working I can't afford to miss work.