Hi.
It seems like a complicated situation, but maybe it's less complicated than I think.
After years of my cousins trying to get us together, she and I finally started dating a couple months ago. We'd tried a couple times before, but she was a flake.
It was good for awhile, then she got distant, and finally told me that she'd had a lump and lymph node biopsied, and might have cancer. She said that she isn't in a good place to be in a relationship. She said that right now she just needs a friend. She has lots of friends though, who have been around for more than 10 years. I've made it pretty clear that I'm here, and I'm not a fair weather friend.
Maybe the background stuff isn't important. I don't know...
I've been trying not to bug her. I've been checking fb almost hourly, and figured, based on other peoples' posts to her wall that the results aren't good. I texted her, and she just texted back, "yeah, it's bad".
A couple days ago, she had texted me that she pushes people away when she is scared and sad. I asked if she was going to push me away. She said "I don't have the energy or time in my to give anything so I can't promise to text or call or reassure or anything til this is over." It seems like maybe she doesn't plan to PUSH me away, but can't be in a reciprocal relationship?
Thing is. I know this isn't about me. It's happened before where I tried to be a friend for people going through a tough time, and they just don't seem to want me around. I know I also isolate when I'm depressed. I figure people don't want to be around depressed people. I'll either lose them by avoiding them, or by exposing them to my depression. Lessons learned in experience...
I can't stop crying though. And I'm mad. I'm scared for her. I don't want to push a friendship on her. I don't want to complicate her life. She doesn't need that right now. I just don't know what to do. Do I keep showing up and offering support? Or do I wait until she comes back around?
I guess I'm looking for advice on what to do. It's a little wierd because we don't know each other all that well...
Any thoughts?
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