Life is hard, need I say more.... yes I have something else that may just help. You, Zabine, have had great success!!!! Years without cutting, that's wonderful. One thing to keep in mind, is that that you may have a slip, but it is how you respond to it. It's hard to hold it all together, but it is possible. Have some faith in yourself.

I'm not an expert in BPD, but there is a forum that can help you with that, write on there, for more ideas as to what you can do. As far as the anger goes, if you get bad enough that you are that scared, then please call for help, reach out, it will help. What to do in the mean time, best idea, sleep, find a way to release the anger, ie. screaming into a pillow, drawing out your anger, talking about that anger with someone you trust to keep yourself safe. Express your anger in writing, on here if it helps, some times venting can help more than anything in the world.

Good luck, and stay safe.