i have talked to him and explained,and apologized,,he still wants to be with me and says he understands,,we do have good communication and he always wants to help me..but i know there is only so much distrust a person can take before he is pushed away,,thats what im afraid of,sometimes we create what we fear the most..i'll get it together somehow..i am just very thankful he is so understanding..he is always loving and helpful..i definately am grateful for meeting him,he is an awesome man..i just wish i didnt get so hurt over other women,it makes me react a way i dont like,,i pull away from him,,im extremely afraid to give him 100% of myself..i still have a wall up from my last relationship..i told him he deserves someone who hasnt got these problems(anxiety,,ptsd,,and so much hurt from the past)..he says we all need someone to help us thru things in life and he wants to be here for me..i am very lucky to have him in my life,i realize that,,i need to control my emotions and stay thinking rationally when i am triggered....ty for ur responses,it means alot to me