When I tried to tell someone what is happening in the last couple of days there is so much pressure behind my ears and I feel like there is a battle of wills inside me. My head hurts and I want to be sick. But is real isn t it? I don t want it to be! I haven t told anyone. It is happening too fast. I was typing in a different name all together and slogans came out! Wow I don t know if I can handle what I am going to have to face. I can t even seem to type my sentences and thoughts properly. I can t imagine how going forward and daily life is going to be. This has been building and coming to a head for the last year. Loosing any control I guess i thought I had. I prayed. Felt relief then fell asleep. Woke up. Now realizing yes it's real. I m too tired to deal with this! So much wasted life! I don t want to waste any more on having to deal with any of this. What about my husband? What's he gonna think? I don t want to lose him. But either way I m too out of control he may just up and walk. It's not fair! Why does it have to be a fight either way? What happened to me? I am a stranger. I don t recognize me. I don t remember 80 percent of my life. I m going to be sick