IMO, find someone you can love and get your needs met with just the way they are. Doesn't mean you can't be friends or you have to be mean to him... but if commitment is not his thing (aspi or not) and it is something you desire than be kind to both of you and find someone who can offer that.
as for his behavior, yeh, it could be aspi, could be social anxiety, could be a lot of things. I wouldn't suggest he "is" something. If you want a label encourage him to talk with his Dr or a T but ultimately, if he is content it is his choice if he wants a label. IMO your counselor is out of line putting a label on someone they have not worked with.