i have just read
''the essential family guide to Borderline Personality Disorder
by Randi Kreger

and

''I hate You don't Leave Me'' by Jerold J Kreishman

I haven't been officially diagnosed yet but am sure it's "me"

my family is riddled with mental illness as far back as I know..we've had 5 suicides
2 of my kids suffer with the same as me...
I believe/know it's got to be genetic in our case
very large family..lotsa cousins, uncles, aunts...and so many with the same affliction can't all be from our upbringing

whatever it is ..I hate it!