I'm so sorry you find yourself in this position.

I went back to your other post and noticed that you were considering suggesting a threesome with her affair partner. I would suggest you think very hard on that regardless of whether or not you know him. I can't help but think it would be very difficult for you and in the end only add to your hurt. If you've had an interest in a threesome before, it could be something to discuss down the road but I really think you are better off with a different 3rd party. If you haven't considered a threesome before this, question if you are thinking of this option as a way to keep her interested. YOU do NOT need to win her back. Even if it feels like it right now. Even if you are afraid of losing her. It is her job to win you and your trust back. Another thing I strongly suggest would be to ask that she cut off any contact with this man - NO they cannot be just friend. If they are in any contact, it will drive you crazy because having lost your trust for her you can't help but wonder...