Thanks for the replies. To my surprise Mandy actually broke up with my cousin this morning and told him she was seeing me and he seems to be fine with it. I rang him up while he was at work and he said things between him and Mandy hadn’t been right for a long time and he didn’t want to be tied down to one woman. He also said I had become a man and he was proud of me for stepping up. I didn’t want to get another girlfriend this way but I don’t regret it.

Mandy is one in a million and I am not going to let a chance like this pass me by. I’m sick and tired of being screwed by the world and for once I am going to do something about it. Funny thing was I was so worried about trying and thought a woman wouldn’t accept me for everything I had been through in the past and all I had to do was kiss one. We like a lot of the same music (classic rock and jazz) and when I was with her yesterday I sang to her and she told me I was cute. I feel like I can write again and I am going to try to write a song or a poem for her today.

I am going to one of her friend’s birthday parties tonight as her date and she is going to pick me up in forty minutes. She doesn’t mind that I don’t drive and understands my fear. I also told her that I have only had sex once and can’t remember it and she laughed and said she had a feeling I was a virgin or close to being one and it was okay. She then said I had nothing to be ashamed about and if people had gone through half of what I have been through they would probably be the same way.

I think I found a woman I can see myself having a future with but I am not going to get too ahead of myself just yet. We might have known each other for eight months but we’ve only been together for a really short time. I really like her and she makes me feel good about myself for the first time in months. I asked her again why she really liked me the other day and she said I was sweet and kind and funny and cute and romantic and there weren’t many guys left like me in the world. Mandy also said she liked the way I talked about Jessica and she wished a guy what talk that way about her.

How can I not fall for a girl like this? She’s amazing and after years of sadness and depression I have finally found somebody who can make my heart flutter again and likes me too. As much as I loved Rachel I could never have a real relationship with her because she was a lesbian but with Mandy I can. I want to take her ice skating on the weekend but I’m not sure if she will be up to it. If we go she’ll have to drive us there so I can’t really surprise her. It seems romantic and when I was younger Jessica and I would go ice skating all the time. It feels good to say I have a girlfriend again