Well you are doing great by being honest with your T. It is hard to come to terms and admit that you have BP. It took me over 20 yrs but hey I did it and so will you in due time. Just know your not alone and everyone has been there at one point or another having to finally accept it. I find that now that I know and accepted it it has really helped me with my family and my life. I hope that when you to can accept it you will find a sort of peace of mind and heart that I have found. Not saying this is the best thing to have to go through in life but it can be done.