Hello,

I posted about a month ago, first time. It was regarding how to earn my boyfriend's forgiveness after cheating on him.

Fast forward a month. We're on a "break." He's out of town for two more months and wants to take this time for us both to seriously consider our relationship. I think that's a good idea and I've been trying to do some real soul-searching about our relationship, why I cheated, whether it's worth the work it will take to save our relationship, and whether our goals are in line enough to try.

I think it would be possible to save our relationship. It will take a lot of work but I think it could be done. We still love each other.

He is a wonderful man and we are compatible in so many ways. The thought of us breaking up for good is absolutely heartbreaking, it makes me nauseous. However, we both have emotional issues. He has trouble admitting his. We were raised very differently and have some varying outlooks on certain issues, such as counseling. We started going to counseling about a year ago, it's been too sporadic to help much. He believes that us needing to go to counseling two years into our relationship is a bad sign; I see it as evidence that we are strongly committed to each other. Anyway, that's just one example of how we see things differently.

I have to decide, in the next two months, whether or not I want him to come back and put in the grueling work it will take to repair our relationship and maintain it. I'm right on the fence about it. Some days, I feel, of course we have to try to make this work! We love each other and he is a great man for me! Other days, I feel, of course this isn't going to work! Our outlooks are just too different!

I wish it were simple, like if there were abuse or one of us had a drug problem or was in a long-term affair, but it's not. I've weighed the pro's and con's and they are pretty much neck-and-neck. I just don't know where to go from here with making this decision. Doubtless, it will be one of the hardest I've ever made, but I owe it to him and to myself and to my son to do everything in my power to make the right decision. Has anyone been in this position before? How do I go about finding the answer? Will I ever be sure?

Please help me! I'm so lost.