Thanks Mokie,
Yeah I dont think anyone with anykind of mental illness is happy they have it and I know things could be ALOT worse .. My T assured me today that over time it will become easier to accept and since i like to beat myself up everything that it may take longer than necessary ,, so i think its time for me to get my butt in gear and deal with the denial.
Thanks for the kind words it real does help knowing im not alone in this mess

Wishing you some Peace ~