I'm so irritated, in order to receive my degree I have to complete a course that really has nothing to do with what I want to do with my life. I basically have to have all of the SH and other things worked out. I'm going nowhere. I don't know what I can do. I want to SH more and more, and yet I need to fool some people to letting me have my degree. I can't fool people 100% of the time. It's too draining.

Yes right now, treatment is an illusion even to me, because I just don't care anymore, I want what I can't have, I want to give up, this just seems impossible to do. AGGGGGG