I don't agree that love is a form of obsession, except probably during the initial infatuation period. At that time I can see where it is very apt to be.

I came to be obsessed about a man with whom I did fall in love. Years of recovery from co-dependence helped by Al-anon have brought me to where I no longer am obsessed with him. I still am in love with him, and it is so much nicer to have the obsessive dynamics removed.

I think one of the hallmarks of obsession is overly frequent phone calling. If we had a fight, I would phone him dozens of times in one hour. I would phnone him at home. I would phone him at his job. I would start phoning bars looking for him. None of that goes on anymore. His sobriety helps, of course. However, I don't think I would get obsessive again, regardless. I just outgrew being that way.

Now he is kind of obsessive about me and sometimes phones me excessively. When he does that I feel like he is monitoring me, which he is doing. I had to make it a rule that he is not to phone me at my job. I've tried to teach him that being consumed with needing to know what I am doing and where I am and who is with me is unhealthy. We trust each other. It's not a matter of jealousy. I am not sure why he has become such a worry wort. Mainly, I'm so glad I don't think that way anymore.