I think many of us have experienced a situation like this where the commitment is completely unbalanced, and we have been betrayed/abandoned/toyed with but still find ourselves in love. Knowing what's rationally the best decision doesn't help you stop loving somebody or stop the hurt. Unfortunately it sounds like this man does not have the same level of caring for you as you do for him, and/or he is not mature enough to commit. So unless he makes some BIG changes, I think the pattern will continue. I can only assure you that there are people in the world that will love you more and treat you better, if you let this go and give someone else a chance. But I completely understand how hard it is to let go, especially when a romance has gone on for a long time and you probably can hardly imagine life without him.