First off, you state specifically that you feel better when you are on it.....there is NOTHING wrong with feeling better. The thing with the meds is that they help you get through the time that you are LEARNING the skills necessary to deal with it. Right now with your posts, you are all over the place & at your young age, I doubt that you have learned any of the skills necessary to deal with the anxiety or the depression yet. Therapy & I have found especially DBT is wonderful to learn awareness & how to observe yourself & the world around you so that you can learn to better react in situations & to deal with your emotions & how to react to people in your interpersonal relations. If your T hasn't suggested DBT, maybe you should ask them about it.....

& in the meantime....stay on your meds & look at it as helping you in the interim while you are learning the life skills you need to deal with what your meds are helping you with at this time.

Somehow, I am sure that you don't really agree with what you are saying. I know it gets frustrating at times, but we need to learn how to deal with the things that life throws us & most of us CAN'T learn it ON OUR OWN. Practice your patience & keep sticking it out.....it will really make a difference in the future & you have a lot of your future ahead that can have a difference made in it if you are willing to keep working on it.