My dream of being independent died with BP II.
I've been in business 6 times - I owned a bookkeeping service, I was a reflexologist, I owned a health food store, and so on and so on.
I had great plans and high expectations that crumbled into dust when the disorder turned on me. Things always started off great and it was all downhill from there.
With my last business I lost my life savings and all my hopes and dreams. I declared bankruptcy, and will never attempt to own my own business again. My hopes and dreams are dust and ashes now. I'm 8 years from retirement and I have nothing. I don't even own a car, let alone a house, and there's no money in the bank.
I'm reading a book by Dr. Ronald Fieve about BP II and he talks about people who are tremendously successful because of hypomania. Well I'm not one of them. Right now I can't even hold onto a job for more than 6 months.