Hi everyone,

I'm asking anyone here who is a trained Psychologist and/or Psychiatrist. It's my hope that at least I could get a label of sorts for what this is called. I've had some pretty significant trauma in my life(I'm 41, male and single). When I was 22, I had a friend who was murdered by a serial killer. When I was 23-27 I was stalked for 4 years. Also, I am the adult child of a mother who has been diagnosed with BPD(Borderline Personality Disorder) and a father who has been diagnosed with NPD(Narcissistic Personality disorder). I left home fairly late(28 years old). I've been through a very high level of extreme emotional and verbal abuse for the first almost 30 years of life.

Anyway..my dilemma:
In the past calender year or so, I've had this feeling of..I see this name "Peter Ward" on my college graduation diploma and I look at my high school yearbook and there is someone whose photo bears a strong resemblance to mine with the same name. I even have vivid memories of events, stories,etc. of this guy named Peter Ward. And yet?(this being the problem). I feel like I am NOT him.

I almost feel like I remember the memories of this guy and details about his life..except I feel like those memories did not happen to ME. I feel like I am looking at those memories almost as a 3rd person. Like they are in my mind..but almost like up on a movie screen..so there is "memory A" with no feeling like it happened experientially TO ME.

There is another important facet to all of this. I DON'T believe that I am experiencing multiple personality disorder since doesn't MPD mean that someone has distinct different mannerisms, actions, behaviors, tastes, ways of dress, etc. that all reside WITHIN the same person? So..I don't see "Peter Ward" on my drivers license and yet think "I'm Jeff Novak". What I experience INSTEAD is..I see "Peter Ward" on my drivers license and think "I don't recognize that guy, I'm not him", yet I don't have an ALTERNATE personality as far as different name, occupation, age, location, set of likes/dislikes,etc.

I've read this as symptoms associated with Dissociation or Dissociative Identity disorder. Can someone please tell me in their experience what this sounds like? Thank you.

Best wishes,
Peter(my actual name