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...Doing something has always been the key for me, even when it left my therapist shaking his head.
Now, I am weary of the battle to understand. I accept I made many decisions that were less than ideal. Yet, to the surprise of many, I am still alive and still messing up. Even so, I have learned a bit along the way.
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I do try to understand my condition in so much that it leads to a plan of action. Yet my understandings are passive non-judgmental, at best. I try to allow my fears and apprehensions to rise in meditation. Then afterwards in contemplation, I hold my fears and such with compassion. What I have discovered is my fears are a path to freedom, liberation. I can be afraid as it challenges me to move forward in face of my fears. I find great satisfaction in moving through fears of mine, encouraging me to keep facing my fears. And I feel ok to have fears, their unconfortable, I'll shake sometimes, sweat, they don't seem to going away just yet...so I move with them.
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Originally Posted by elliemay
I've been spending a lot of time thinking about, and studying the tenets of Buddhism.
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I found Zen to suit me very well. Clear mind meditation has been a great tool to shut down my over active mind. As it relates to my fears, I feel my body and its reaction to fear wile my mind can just observe. Its a odd freedom somehow.
Its a walk in the right direction for me, even tho some things remain the same. I see them differently and some how I'm different.
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Sober Since Aug/29/2022
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