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Jul 31, 2011, 09:23 AM
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I left the forums here for almost 2 months because I got all reclusive & didn't want to think about my disorder, but after a change of heart (& turning back into an increasingly manic/mixed/uncontrollable mess) I've decided to come back!!
I think you can all tell by how much I've been yammering on & rambling that I've been off my rocker lately... Still have to wait about a month to get my Puerto Rico ID so I can set up an appointment to get the government-issued health insurance & get myself treated! So that is taking a bit longer than I'd like it to. But in the meantime, I've started a journal & made myself promise that, no matter how many millions of things I think I need to do during the day, I need to spend at least an hour writing out what's been on my mind & concerning me. And my boyfriend has free access to reading this journal so that he can understand me, as I've been kind of lashing out at him for wanting to help... So I've definitely been a bit of a rollercoaster, but I'm trying to be self-aware, so I suppose that's keeping me "sane" so to speak.
ANYWAY. My initial concern. Does anyone else get really vivid dreams or nightmares when they are manic? For me, they are kind of co-dependent. I realized from this last episode that was coming on for a long time that it's only when I'm manic/hypomanic/mixed that I get lucid dreams & really horrible nightmares. Like, multiple times a week & even multiple times a night sometimes... Especially false awakenings.
Any sort of input would be greatly appreciated. I've kind of enjoyed being back, trying to talk to everyone. I'm a very reclusive creature, but-- having gotten rid of two close friends this month due to them mistreating me-- I've been really focusing on connecting with people who have kind intentions. And here, there is certainly plenty of that. 
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