is everyone she has contact with following the same rules for her. sometimes when "challenging type children" are exposed to conflicting rules and discipline they don't know what is expected of them. they either try to please everyone or please no one because its a no win situation.

How about her schedules - eat at the same time every day, go to bed at the same time every day do homework at the same time every day, specific chores that need to be done at the same time every day. The more routine and scheduled my sons day is it leaves less time for his acting out,

Also you said she is 11. I hate to say this but most girls start going through hormonal changes at this age. you might say she's pms ing without the m. its the bodys way of preparing for that even if she hasn't had it yet.

You might also try doing the unexpected. when you know her behavour is to get this or that emotion thing and so on do the opposite. When she yells whisper instead of yelling back. she has to stop yelling in order to hear you and she's expecting you to yell back so it will also shock her that you are not yelling back. Say yes and ok to some of those things she fully expects a no to so is winding up for a temper tantrum to fight for what she want's.

She's 11 and knows homework is a requirement. so she may be like my son using the homework issue to get attention or whatever. so take the battle out of it. have homework time the same time every day. she doesn't do it she doesnt do it. she's the one that has to deal with the consequenses at school of missing recess, detention, peer pressure and so on.

My son used to use homework as a battleground. so one day his therapist and I sat down with him during family therapy and told him he's 9 years old not a baby. I should not have to play the babysitter and force him to do what is expected - his homework. fro that day on he was responsible for getting it done he doesn't he gets the consequences of no recess and so on. by choosing not to do his homework he is choosing not to have recess and so on during schooltime. for a few days he came home sat down and did his homework then the third day he came home sat down then said Im not doing it. I ignored him and went on with what I was doing. He started throwing his homework temper tantrum. I said nothing to him and ignored his throwing the homework around just kept on with what I was doing. he brought his papers to me and strted ripping them up in front of me. I turned my back and walked into another room , not saying anything to him. He went off to play. I still did not call him back. The next day he went to school. When he came home I did not talk about the day before. He ate his after school snack and went out to play. He didn't do his homework BUT there was no temper tantrum. The next day he went to school. That afternoon he came home and sat down and did him homework for the past two days and that days homework too. when he was done he brought it to me and said - my homework is all done. I looked at him and told him fantastic would he like to pick something that him and I could do together. He chose going to a movie. We went to the movie. from that day on there were no more homework battles. He knew it was expected and I was not going to fight over it. If he chose to do it we had time for other more enjoyable things, he chose not to do it he had the consequenses at school to deal with for not bringing in his assignments completed.

His chores here at home were worked the same way. I stayed out of his temper tantrums as much as possible and If he broke anything during his temper tantums he had to work the replacement cost and purchase that item himself. Since I live in an appartment complex he also had to work of the damages with the manager.