Thanks--and to answer your questionss...no risk of losing the friendship, she is a social worker and she is adamantly against divorce. They are upper middle class and regretfully I believe that's a huge part of why she would never get divorced. She likes her lifestyle too much and is terrified of being on her own financially. Next to her child, status is the most important thing to her and that's why I think I'm having this dilemma. While I feel she should be informed for the safety of her child as to the extent of her husband's tendencies, I also don't think it would matter to her. So then I guess it boils down to my own personal ethics. On top of that our lives are all very intertwined. My husband is very close with him and will no longer take his phone calls and has written him off. Ugh.