and you start realizing all these difficult emotions and how they just bubble up like a volcano, then you start to feel these emotions stronger like never before,because you have read all about this stuff in the forum today i was going to smashup all my technology in my flat, smash my new computer and tv and mobile phone with a hammer. then i could feel just total isolation, and experience a new depth to this illness. but i could be feeling *********************at breaking point. forum makes you wanna feel things deeper, to try and move on , or get worse.