This weekend felt like a failure because I really couldn't handle being at home. I was out sick on Friday too, but happy to be sick so I didn't have to go in to work. Of course being sick meant that I couldn't get to my p-doc appointment scheduled for last friday and I'm becoming more convinced that the meds aren't working or not as effective as they used to be.

I've lost interest and have no drive or goals. This has been transient in the past, but now it's lasted months. I can get to a point (as noted above) where i can appreciate some things, but the fact is it seems this isn't just about me failing to use coping skills. I've been tracking the skills I've been using to cope on a worksheet, so I am trying.

Yesterday I wasn't even comfortable in my own skin. It was like I wanted to burst out of myself.

Back up and at work again today. I will try again and not let the weekend truly get to me. It wasn't a failure, but just the way I acted and felt. I could have acted differently, but didn't. I can only change now and the future, so don't judge the past.