so I love my boyfriend so much, he is my air, he is one of the very few in my life that has talked with me rather than ignore me or talk at me....

I do have some trust issues and self imagine issues and I imagine this problem I have stems from it...

I can't stop with paranoid thoughts of illusions about us. Ie I get thoughts and ideas that he maybe cheating on me, or flirting with others, or watching porn, etc things to hurt me, and telling me the whole time that he loves me and he is true and doesn't do that stuff....

Example the other nights I was napping and he came in to let me know he ws going to the store, I got up and couldn't let him go alone I thought bad things, and yes logical side says if he was going out to hurt me why would he wake me.... I can see ppl being very deceiving and complex as in knowing me and my thought patterns.

I hate these feelings due to he is true to me, I am sure on my logical side... He is a wonderful person, I see this, but then another side of me am untrusting and worried about being hurt and that I am in an illusion, and can't think these thoughts out, they always pop up...

I know this isn't healthy. I am able to talk to my boyfriend about some of these thoughts in a good way as (in constructive way I guess) and he reassure me and understands my thoughts, sometimes I joke in a cruel way towards myself bout my fears, my boyfriend tells me to stop when I joke cruel about it due to I'm being mean to me, but how else to deal with such emotions. In away by him caring with even a ''joke'' shows me he does care' and talking helps too....

but later at times I feel stupid about talking due to I have exposed myself and my fears, its then easier for him to feed on my weakness if he is being mean.

most of the time I can try my best to get out of my head but other times I tell me I can't do anything unless I ''catch'' him in the act and cross that bridge when I get there.

Is there any suggestions with helping with this?