that must be very difficult for you. I want to share this with you because I do understand how you are feeling. I had a granddaughter that died from a genetic disorder. upon doing all the research about it I found that both parents had to be carriers for the gene to mutate. my thought is if my daughter is a carrier then I must be too. I blamed myself for a long time. she passed in 96.
what I want you to know is there are other causes for different cancers. you will never know that answer to that question. try to find something else to blame it on other than yourself hon. otherwise it will get you down.