Sometimes things get out off hand, because there is far too much to deal with. This was one of those times. You only have patience to a certain level especially when you're not feeling good yourself, like you having depression. No, it was not the right thing to do, but don't beat yourself up about it! You need some rest and time of your own NOW! I know the frustration it causes when your child is behaving like that. I feel like garbage when I react too much, but neither you nor me are iron ladies, we are mothers.
Next time you feel that you're getting tense and blood rushes- try to just walk away into an other room and calm down for a while. When your husband is home walk up to him and tell him to talk to your son, because you need to calm down.... This isn't easy, my sweet friend and I really feel for you in this!
You can do this! Things will get better, although you probably are having a hard time thinking like that now.

You're a loving mother and wants what's best for your son, but you need some good feeding just for YOU!

PM me whenever you feel like.