I do appreciate the words you've shared here. I am married to a man who is either bipolar or has borderline personality disorder(he's in the process of working on getting a diagnosis, at the age of 44). My husband has said the same exact words you have said, he's pushed me away with his words and actions and yes, it's been painful. I don't handle conflict well so our 16 year marriage has had a lot of turmoil mostly caused by his issues and the fact that I respond poorly to him. I am working on how I respond to him, though, and on setting up boundaries to protect myself.

I do believe that bi-polar people deserve healthy relationships just as anyone with any condition(or no condition) does. I think the question is; how to find the right person who can handle someone with mental illness. I do believe that if my husband had sought a diagnosis earlier or if I had forced him to get help earlier in our marriage that things would have been better for us. I feel that I, too, dropped the ball. We have poor communication skills in our relationship now because of the patterns of passive aggressive behavior and his anger issues and my resulting shut down after the anger, etc. I do believe that there is hope for those with mental illnesses to have healthy relationships but it's going to take a LOT more work than those who don't have issues. And, it's going to take commitment from both parties. I think that if you are open and honest with someone from the very beginning and if you communicate in a healthy way, there is always hope for a successful relationship/friendship/etc. Thank you for sharing.