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I think you should respect his boundaries. You might give some thought to tightening up your own. There is an old saying: "If you want to know someone - Live with them." You do not really know this man, although you seem to think you do. Your deep feelings are for the man that you imagine him to be. What you imagine may, or may not, correspond with the reality. Already you and he are at odds over where you each want this relationship to go. If you are being drained, you have every right to lower the intensity of your involvement.
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