I know that Im not in reality, sort of a dream state. I think its because I cannot stand the way human beings are, the way for example that my relatives (abroad) gace no advice or help to their sister ( my mother). They all have mood disorders, but they married well, etc so why should they bother. My grandparents were respectable, but I think they were evil, and evil can look like a soft granny and has many forms. I think I dissociate because of this, because I really cannot stand being a human being, Im far from perfect, perhaps too sensitive, insane. I dont understand. So its mental illness and that's it. . Im aftraid to be in reality - that's what it is.
mala